To love or not to love? That is the question. As Valentine’s weekend ends, I’d like to reflect on past Valentine’s days and what it means to me.

I wish I could say every Valentine’s day was great and sentimental but I’d be lying. I can recall those square shape paper Valentine cards in elementary school and dropping each one in my classmates’ paper bags in front their desks. I even remember picking out one Valentine for a special boy who got the special Valentine I thought he’d like. I also remember that feeling of receiving flowers from a boy who really liked me and feeling so special. I remember working in the local mall in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and getting a giantic big cookie that said, “Happy Valentine’s Day” from the guy who worked in the kiosk next to me. And I even recall those Valentine’s days where I had no one and no Valentine from anyone. These times of the year I’m fortunate I don’t have to hope that I get a Valentine or a secret admirer send me flowers. I’m glad my husband, Adam, is my eternal Valentine every day of the year.

Now let me share a special Valentine’s day with my husband before we even were engaged. He was a romantic in the day. The first year together he planned a very special Valentine’s day fulfilling my dream to be in a limo and driving through a fast food drive-thru. We spent the entire night just driving around the city and eating Fazoli’s in the limo. He even provided ambiance music which included good ole Frank Sinatra. Today we have a house, kids, and jobs, so limos are pretty much out of the question for Valentine’s days. We still have the drive-thru food and ambiance music though.

I would hope a commericialized holiday wouldn’t make me feel so lonely or keep me expecting something in return from my husband. Now I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look for something in my husband hoping he’d remember our Valentine’s together and the romance in our marriage. We’ve been married for almost eight years and I learn something new everyday about him and even myself. There’s a sense of comfort in our marriage that develops a love I’ll never have with any man in my life. And I hope I’ll never have to find that in anyone else for the rest of my life.

When I mention being comfortable with my husband, I don’t mean being bored or not being romantic ever. I meant our comfort lies in a friendship that challenges every day about myself and how to be a better wife and mother. I often question what my purpose in life is but I ultimately know it’s being his wife and the mother to our children on this earth. My love for him and my kids is a love that keeps me going every day I wake up in the morning and realize what my true purpose in life is.

I know there are a few of you in this world who can truly relate to what I feel every day about being a wife and mother. And maybe some of you can relate being a husband and a father. I don’t know if I could have ever thought those feelings when I was a kid in elementary school, a young girl in high school, a young woman in college, and a woman just starting to understand the meaning of being an adult. All those years behind me only reveals my appreciation for the love I have now. A long time ago I didn’t really know how to express my love or even to give love. Now as I watch my husband look at me with all his love on the days I don’t have make-up and the weight I gained from having his two children, I can see how he loves me without feeling I have to keep up appearances or being afraid to cry when I want to. And I don’t know if anyone will ever know how I feel when my own children tell me how much they love me without expecting anything in return but my kisses and hugs knowing they feel safe around me.

Giving love and receiving love means many different things to people. This holiday reminds others of what happened in the past or what great things are in the future based on a simple hope of love from someone else. I’m fortunate that I did not hinder my love to give or to receive based on Valentine’s days past. I hope whatever I’ve mentioned allows you to open a world of love you’ve never seen before or even remind you of what you do have in this world to give. That is the answer.